Insanity in the Form of Babysitting
by Inferno Wing
Summary: Another crazy Teen Titans fic. This time the woes and pains of caring for other people's children shall be made known to them. Will the children make it out of the tower alive! We shall see...


**_Author's Note: Would y'all believe I've had writer's block from the last time I updated 'Got Gel? Yep, But No Tofu'_ _until now!_ _That's a lot of writer's block. Not only that, but our computer's gone insane, and only works with bribes, pleading, begging, and sweet talk. And I got grounded for a while. Lucky little me. Does anyway actually read this bit? Hmmmm... I am so hurt! I pour my soul into this author's not_e and no one cares to read it! I need Robin Junior...**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. But one day I shall! Along with a kangaroo and the ability to have writer's block so I can destroy it! The writer's block, not the kangaroo**_

**Intro**

None of it would have happened if Starfire hadn't gone grocery shopping on her own. Who knows what they were thinking, letting her do this horrible thing. If only one person had gone with her they could have all been spared the emotional trauma and destruction that soon would follow. The tears shed, the food burned, the countless souls torn, shredded, beaten, whipped, drowned, shot, run over, blended, sliced, diced, grated, tilled, deleted, malfunctioned, driven to insanity and taken away in those pretty white jackets with the friendly men driving the van, ripped, and otherwise maimed or destroyed could have been spared.

But you'll know all about those later, what happens before then is way more interesting.

**Inside Titan's Tower**

"Friends, I have terrible news," Starfire announced, walking into the living room, "It seems the refrigerator has a new clan of furry food, the green and grey furry food. The green and grey furry food has begun battle with the blue furry food, already there have been many losses."

For being the messenger of this indeed dreadful news, Starfire received four blank stares. Actually, two dumbfounded stares, one slightly amused stare, and one bluntly uncaring stare. Close enough though.

However, Robin actually stood up, "Let's go see, Star."

As Starfire had claimed, it was truly horrific. It seemed that a small tribe of blue furry food had made friends with the green and gray furry food and they had spawned the yellow-ish purple-y colored furry food in the short time Starfire had been away.

"Hmm, I can only see one solution to this," Robin stated grimly

"What do we do?" Starfire asked, bringing her fists up to her chin

"We'll have to clean out the fridge..."

The other titans had wandered into the kitchen by now and all of them gasped in sheer terror, except for Raven.

"What's the big deal?" she muttered irritably and opening the fridge door, "There's no way a bit of moldy food can pose any threat to-" she was cut short from her lecture when a yellow and purple furry blob suddenly launched itself onto her hand, making crooning and gurgling noises.

"Nice," Raven growled irritably.

"But what will we eat man!" Cyborg exclaimed

"Dude, there's my hidden stash of tofu," Beast boy piped up, "Good for any-" Cyborg's steady glare silenced him immediately, for once. Cyborg is not a happy camper with the prospect of no meat, or no food at all really, looming ahead like a salad bar.

Robin sighed heavily,

"Fine, while four of us battle the... erm, food in the fridge, one of us can go get new food so we can restock. Now who wants to-"

"Oh glorious Robin!" Starfire cried with jubilation, soaring into the air above their heads, "I shall go fetch the food of nutrients we need to acquire. Good luck my friends!"

As she soared out the door, Beast Boy looked at his three remaining comrades,

"Does anyone else have, like, a bad feeling about this?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. He received a round of shrugs as they all prepared to clean out the fridge...

**In the erm... Air Above Jump City**

Starfire flew along happily, humming to herself. She had wanted to do the shopping for quite a while, but for some odd reason, no one would ever let her. Well, she had once...

(about 8 months a go)

"Hey Star!" Robin called, coming out of his room when Starfire came back with the groceries, "Whatd'ja get! I'm starving!"

"Well, I found some quite delightful items!" Starfire told him, sorting through the bags, "Let me see, mustard, mustard, mustard, mustard, must-"

"Star, did you get anything else?"

"Oh yes, this rather large bucket of... 'Lard' and several sticks of butter, oh, more mustard, and these delightful small colorful waxy sticks in the yellow and green box! They are most enjoyable!"

"Um, Star, those are...crayons."

(Back to the Present)

Yes, Star thought as she flew along, that had been a most successful trip to the grocery store of food shopping. She had always wanted to go again but someone always went first, insisting they go alone.

Ah well, never mind that now, she was here! At the glorious facility where she could collect all manners of delicious nutritious items for her and her friends to consume! Some maybe not so nutritious, but that's not important.

As Starfire landed lightly on the pavement, she happened to glance at the large windows at the front of the store. There were several advertisements there and one happened to catch her eye.

She read the paper critically, squealing in excitement when she finished. She hurriedly wrote the number to the tower paper under a short list of other numbers. After she skipped through the door to the grocery store, a lady came and got the sheet Star had just read, smiling and putting it in her purse. She had placed the ad in the first place and was happy she had had responses.

She quickly hurried through her shopping, not as in tune with it has she had hoped to be. Several bottles of mustard were thrown in the cart, of course. Along with garlic sauce, pie crust, marshmallows, corn starch, contact solution, acne cream, vegetable oil and... more lard! She had found it quite enjoyable, especially with pickles. And jumbo crayons.

She got several odd looks as she went up to pay, most of them because she had broke open a box of crayons she kept on hand to munch on. Starfire, however, hardly noticed, she was so excited.

She flew back to the tower with her bags in hand, smiling happily. Not that the last bit wasn't unusual...

She landed on the roof, letting herself in through the door there and down the stairs. She ran into Raven in the hall... the other girl did not seem happy. But of course, there was a large, Silky-sized blob of yellow and purple fur clinging to her, purring and making crooning noises.

"Oh Raven! It seems the furry blob has fallen into an affectionate state with you!" Starfire cried out, forgetting her news for a moment, "Do you not return its affections?"

Raven glared at her evilly, her mouth drawn in a tight line as she struggled to get the blob off of her waist, where it had plastered itself, "No... I just want this mutant dust bunny off of me!"

Finally, after much compromise, some yelling, and barely contained black blasts of energy, the blob retreated. Raven grimaced as the thing squirmed under the minuscule crack at the bottom of the door, it's feelings hurt and whimpering.

"I'll deal with it later." Raven growled, "Let's get the food into the kitchen before Cyborg tries to eat the couch... again."

**In the Kitchen**

No one was too shocked at Starfire's 'food' choices. Robin knew he'd have to go get food himself later, but he had known that before hand.

Beast Boy was still mopping up the last of the furry substance from the kitchen floor when Starfire was ready to make her announcement.

"Friends, I have found a glorious activity for us to participate in!" she said, soaring upwards a few feet, "I have signed us up to be part of a babysitting service for a week! I find the tiny humans of this planet delightful! This will be a joyous experience!"

She was so excited she didn't notice her team's faces. That may be a good thing, Robin was rather large-eyed, Cyborg was teary-eyed, Raven was scowling, and Beast Boy was sobbing.

It would be an interesting week.

**Author's Note: Not funny as I wished, but it's a start. I need some time to get rolling again. Robin Junior shall comfort me if you decide to flame but please at least review! I wuv reviews... **


End file.
